Hi there! My name is Priscilla Martinez; welcome to my site! Here’s a little about me and my journey. I’m in my late 30s and married to a wonderful husband. We are proud fur parents to a chocolate lab named Jace the great! I’m definitely known as a busy body always focusing on my overwhelming to do list that I’ve created!! I have a passion for decorating and refurbishing anything I can get my hands on. There’s something refreshing about bringing old things back to life. I’m a God-fearing woman struggling with infertility.
Infertility is a difficult subject for any woman to talk about. It’s so personal and no one can truly understand how you feel unless your going through it. I’ve been struggling with infertility for about 5 years now. After some time, I decided to try and write because we all need to share our stories at some point. It’s not healthy to hold it in, no matter what your going through so feel free to share! I’ve met a total of 5 doctors who all had a different approach. The journey of hope begins on a hot summer day, June of 2013.
The first GYN I met, after a year of trying mainly did blood work, a Regular checkup and said everything was normal. She went on to say that she did not specialize in infertility and has helped me the best way she could. So here I go searching for GYN number 2 in hopes of better answers. This GYN decided to move forward in sending me to another man to complete a hysterosalpingogram, short for placing dye through my fallopian tubes to see if they are open. So, here I am lying awkwardly on an x-ray table, legs spread eagle and a man placing that wonderful speculum we all love during our Pap smears! It was the worst experience ever! During this time, I learned that my pelvic is curvy making it very difficult to locate my fallopian tubes. The x-ray technician kept trying to the point of my whole body shaking in pain! After some rest, he asked if I would like to try again? Uuuuuhh…that was a hard NO! My follow-up visit with the GYN didn’t go well. The results of my fallopian tubes were unclear. Furthermore, I may have a diseased fallopian tube! That was tough to hear and fear was placed over me! She was not able to assist me any further and suggested an infertility specialist.
Doctor number 3 decided to schedule a laparoscopy. He went on to say that this procedure will giude him further in checking for any fibroids, endometriosis and clearance of my fallopian tubes in a less invasive way. The surgery was a success as per the doctor. I ended up having mild endometriosis among other minor things, which explained all the pain I was having during my cycles! My fallopian tubes were running well except the dye flowed much slower on the right side. He also mentioned that my fallopian tubes were stuck to the wall lining but left them alone and stated not to worry. After 3 weeks of healing from surgery, I was placed on Clomid for about 5months with no results. Our hope was beginning to dwindle as the 3rd doctor referred us to a specialist in infertility. All we could do was move forward looking for answers. Moving on to doctor number four.
First of all, IVF is not cheap! The whole experience of IVF was difficult and rushed but I get it; it’s a business. So just a little heads up if your deciding IVF, maybe the more expensive facilities will treat you better, but we had to go with what we could afford. Needless to say, the whole month going through shots and checking my eggs, it finally came down to the retrieval. I had 4 healthy eggs! We transferred 2 eggs and waited to see if the remaining eggs would make it to blastocyst. The anticipation of a 10-day waiting period was so emotional and days seemed so long before the results were in. We met with the nurse at noon and were told that both eggs did not attach to my uterine wall and the blastocyst didn’t make it either. We were heart broken.💙💔The Doctor just sat there and started going over options like nothing horrible happened. He said it’s common the first try and to definitely try again, as if money wasn’t an option! I wasn’t emotionally or physically ready, so we decided to wait. I was struggling not knowing why my body wasn’t working? I was taking my daily vitamins, eating healthy and exercising……I began to feel ashamed.
My faith was being tested! I am a born-again Christian who loves God but yet felt so alone. I was beginning to question my faith, asking God, why me? What did I do wrong to deserve this? The Bible says ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you; Mathew 7:7. So I’m asking but thought God wasn’t responding. With time, I’ve learned that just praying and crying with God has given me strength and peace to move foward one day at a time. I started taking the time to read the Bible where there is so much truth written. Did you know a total of 5 women struggled with infertility? They all relied on Gods strength and peace as well! This scripture verse really opened my eyes stating that NO ONE is excused from hardship or difficult times. It’s how we respond to it and move forward from it and how we get through it that matters. This scripture is found in 1 Peter 5:8-9, which states: Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy (Satan) prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers through out the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. Wow! God is warning us that Satan is going to do anything in his power to cause depression, anger, bitterness, resentment and even division to keep our mind off Him, maybe even blame God for life’s hardship. Satan is so sneaky…..like a slithering serpent! In that moment, God reassured me that I AM NOT ALONE and never will be because He loves me that much! John 16:33 says: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the World you WILL have tribulations(difficult times) But take heart; I have overcome the World.” God truly has His perfect timing and plan for my life. For now, I am patiently waiting and enjoying life to the fullest. Also, I’m hoping to meet others who are struggling with life’s circumstances and need encouragement as well. All is welcome to share advice or give some positive feedback. Everyone needs to vent at some point….Lord knows I do😊 Thanks for listening to a bit of me. If you’re interested in how I met doctor number 5 and what I’m currently going through, take a peek at my blog! I hope to meet you there to share life together!
Living Life Unashamed 